There was a time when rest made me uncomfortable!
I would lie down and feel a flood of thoughts: “You should be doing something.” “You’re wasting time.” “You’ll miss out.”
Rest felt like failure. Like weakness. Like something I had to earn with exhaustion! Can you relate?
I didn’t know it then, but I was living in survival mode (the reason of pain and health issues) driven by perfectionism, fear of not being enough and the deep conditioning that my worth was tied to what I did, not who I was.
The Cost of Constant Doing
Like many of us, I grew up believing that being productive, busy, and achieving was the path to being “good.” Fearing failing, I became a high achiever, and someone working in healthcare, these beliefs were rewarded and reinforced.
But beneath the surface, my nervous system was overwhelmed. I was living in unseen chronic stress and eventually, chronic pain. When I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia nearly a decade ago, my body wasn’t saying “I’m broken” – it was a wake-up call! My body gave me several warning before, but I didn’t listen and kept living in the same “programming”.
I had burned out. And it wasn’t just physical. I was emotionally and spiritually exhausted from the pressure to hold everything together but mostly all the expectations on myself! From believing that if I just did more, pushed harder, or was better, I’d finally feel enough.
The Guilt of Rest & the Fear of Missing Out
One of the hardest things to rewire was my relationship with rest.
Even as I began my healing journey—through mind-body work, somatic practices, and self-compassion—I noticed guilt creeping in every time I slowed down.
Rest stirred up uncomfortable stories:
- You’re lazy.
- Other people are working, what makes you think you can stop?
- You haven’t done enough yet.
But one of the deepest, sneakiest fears I carried was this:
If I rest, I’ll miss the opportunity to show my worth.
Rest felt like saying “no” to proving myself. To being visible. To achieving something that might finally make me feel “enough” and validated.
And so, I kept going. Overgiving. Overfunctioning. Saying “yes” when I needed to say “I need a moment.” Always afraid the next opportunity would be the one that finally validated my value.
The External Expectations We Internalise
The guilt around rest isn’t just personal—it’s cultural.
We’re taught to strive, hustle, achieve and be available.
We’re praised for how much we can carry, not how well we care for ourselves.
And over time, we internalise those external expectations and turn them into a constant pressure cooker of “shoulds.”
Why aren’t we validated when we listening to ourselves?
We fear letting others down, or appearing less committed. We worry that by slowing down, we’ll be forgotten.
So we keep running—not for ourselves—but for the version of us we think the world wants.
Slowing down, the pill to see yourself as you are!
Through the years, I’ve learned to listen to my body. I’ve practiced being with discomfort, rather than overriding it. I’ve come home to myself—not as a machine to optimise, but as a human being with cycles, needs, softness.
Rest has become one of my most radical healing tools – What is under rest? The slowing down to listen to ME, not the conditioning and society! ME!
For the first time in my life, I was ill (massive cold / sinus / ear pain) and I loved every single moment of just listening to my own needs!!! I loved the fact that I could have time to love myself, I didn’t feel I was letting down anyone! So much time to love myself!
Rest is Not the Breakthrough—It’s the Vessel
So often we think rest is the goal, the destination, the ultimate act of self-care.
But the truth is—rest is simply the vessel.
The container that allows something deeper to happen.
When we slow down, we interrupt the programming – we can see behind the fog!
We begin to soften the grip of old neural pathways—the ones wired by our core beliefs, our fears, our childhood patterns.
We make space to meet ourselves beneath the doing.
It’s in the slowing down (not in the rest itself) where the transformation begins.
Because in stillness, we finally get to see ourselves.
We notice the unmet needs we’ve buried. The parts of us we had to abandon to fit in, be loved, or feel safe.
We start asking:
Why am I always so tired?
What am I really running from?
Whose voice is telling me I can’t stop?
What belief am I carrying that tells me I’m only valuable when I’m achieving?
And when we slow down enough to listen, not judge, not fix, but simply be with, we begin to heal.
From love. From gentleness. From a new place of self-respect and care. And yes – sometimes the answer is just rest! But notice how this choice feels like now!
Your Body Knows the Way Back
If you’re constantly tired, your body is trying to tell you something.
A symptom of the deeper wound that has been crying out for attention.
This is your invitation:
💛 Get curious.
💛 Slow down.
💛 Listen to the body—not to push through, but to understand.
What part of you is hurting? What part of you is still trying to prove your worth?
And then—love that part into wholeness.
Meet her with compassion.
Let her know she’s safe now.
That she no longer needs to hustle for love, or overwork for validation.
Because healing isn’t about doing more. It’s about coming home to yourself.
It’s about resting—not just the body—but the war inside your mind.
And rising above the beliefs that once protected you, but no longer serve your truth.
Do you relate? Get in touch? 🙂
Loving,
Sara
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